


If I Could Have You Forever I Would

by thelonelywriter



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel in the Bunker, Dean Being Dean, Declarations Of Love, Fallen Angel Castiel, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, One Shot, Some Humor, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-10
Updated: 2016-11-10
Packaged: 2018-08-30 03:58:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8517688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelonelywriter/pseuds/thelonelywriter
Summary: Dean and Cas have been together for awhile, but neither of them have said 'I love you' yet. Dean declares that he'll change that.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, okay. SO, I have been having the absolute worst time writing recently and I really just wanted to write something short and sweet to get myself going, but I even had trouble writing this. But, somehow, it came out, and I know that it's short but I tried and some of you have told me that I'm good at writing fluff so hopefully you'll enjoy this!!

“I love you.”

 

Dean chews on the inside of his cheek.

 

“I love you,” he repeats, as if he were tasting the words, possibly watching out for any poisonous undertones. He narrows his eyes at himself in the mirror of where he stands in the bathroom of the Bunker. He takes another breath, turning his back and leaning his lower back against the sink. 

 

“Cas, I have something to say to you,” he says slowly. “I think I-”

 

No, that’s wrong. He doesn’t _think_ , he _knows_ he loves Cas. But can he tell him that? Cas and him have been a… _thing_ for awhile. Cas had been living with them in Bunker for even longer. It was sometime in that timeframe that him and Dean had taken to even longer lingering glances and touches, and Sam had taken to banging his head against the wall because of the obvious tension that Dean and Cas were both utterly blind to. The tension had resolved when Cas got the flu, and since he was now human it was quite the event. Cas being Cas of course told Dean and Sam that it was nothing but Dean being Dean of course knew that it was nothing and ended up waiting on Cas hand and foot until Dean was sick too. And then, of course, the roles reversed and Cas took care of Dean and it was somewhere in there where they were both sort of sick, wishing desperately that the other wasn’t, that they sort of melted into one another. 

 

It wasn’t blunt and mashed into one moment, as Dean imagined what being with Cas would be like. Maybe it started out with that, after the blurting of the fact that they kind of sort of liked each other in more than a good friends way. But the rest was like a watercolor, everything bleeding together, mixing, melding in ways that had Dean completely lovestruck, Cas finally content, and Sam able to sleep at night. But now things were changing.

 

Dean knew how he felt about Cas, even though he wasn’t always the best with feelings. He didn’t think he had ever felt this way though, and that was the hint that headed him towards the ‘ _Hey, this might kind of be more than a one night stand. This might be really serious_.’ 

 

Dean knew it was serious because he felt like he was having a heart attack every time him and Cas touched. 

 

And, okay, even Dean could put puzzle pieces together well enough to figure out that what they had was love. They slept in the same bed, they had sex, they cuddled. But it wasn’t just that, it was the little things. It was when Cas did something utterly stupid on a hunt because he wanted to save Dean. Or when Dean would kiss the little wrinkles on Cas’ forehead when he furrowed his brow. Or how Cas always hogged all the covers and him and Dean argued over it until one of them was pushed off the bed. (Survival of the fittest.) It was when Cas would cook pies for Dean. It was how Cas _learned_ to cook pies just for Dean. It was when Dean got butterflies because Cas kissed him. It was a lot of things. A lot of things that made love.

 

But they hadn’t said ‘I love you yet’.

 

And Dean was terrified.

 

He would’ve waited for Cas to say it, Christ, he thought that Cas would say it first since he turned out to be quite the romantic, but time passed and Cas didn’t say it and Dean was starting to get worried because he wanted _someone_ to say it for Christ’s sake. But, Cas wasn’t saying it and Dean wasn’t saying it so Dean decided that he, Dean Winchester, would take the initiative and do the right thing and tell Cas how he felt. Because he was a grown man and Cas was a grown man (former grown angel) and they could handle it. Well… 

 

Dean shakes his head where he is in the bathroom, turning back to the sink to splash some cold water on his face. He’s been planning on saying it for a few weeks, so he figures he’ll say it tonight. None of that, ‘wait for the right moment’ shit, just… say it. He looks in the mirror one last time and sighs. And then he turns, opening the door and heading down the hall towards his and Cas’ room.

 

Cas usually goes to bed at a reasonable time and it’s getting late so Dean’s sort of hoping that Cas might already be asleep so Dean doesn’t have to drop a feelings bomb on him. But, the odds aren’t in Dean’s favor because when he reaches their door Cas is snuggled up in their bed, back turned to Dean, a book in his hands. Cas had taken a liking to books after he became human, and he was an unusually fast reader, some of his grace still residual Dean and Sam had assumed since sometimes Cas broke the lightbulbs when he was angry and he was unusually strong. Amongst other things. Dean pushes the thoughts aside and gently raps on the door, pushing it open a little more.

 

“Knock knock,” he says weakly because wow he’s not even that close to actually saying it but his palms are sweating and his knees are weak at just the thought of what he has to say. Well, he doesn’t _have_ to say it, but he _wants_ to. And that’s the point, right? He wants to say it. Because it’s true.

 

Cas turns and immediately smiles softly at the sight of Dean.

 

“Hello Dean,” Cas says. Dean attempts at a smile and steps a little further into the room.

 

“Hey,” he says softly. Then a pause. “I’m not interrupting anything, am I?”

 

Cas shakes his head, sitting up a little, bookmarking his page and setting his book aside.

 

“No. I was wondering when you were coming to bed.” 

 

‘Coming to bed.’ God, look at how domestic they are, Dean thinks. Like some family, like a couple. But that’s what they are, right? Family. Cas is family. And him and Dean are a couple. But Cas isn’t like family family because that would be weird and him and Dean wouldn’t be a couple because that’s not how things work and-

 

“Dean?” Castiel says, brows furrowed just the slightest. Dean realizes that he’s been quiet for too long and he coughs, nodding.

 

“Yeah, right, bed. I’m, uh, coming,” Dean manages quite awkwardly, closing the door to their room and stepping over to the bed, slowly sliding in under the covers. And, apparently that residual grace in Cas gives him super Dean sensing powers because he just says,

 

“You’re tense.”

 

Dean swallows. Of course he’s fucking tense he’s about to tell Cas, former angel of the lord, who he’s head over heels for that he actually _is_ head over heels for him. Damn.

 

“No,” Dean replies because he’s stubborn. Cas raises an eyebrow. Dean’s palms sweat a little more. “Okay,” Dean sighs. “Okay,” he repeats. 

 

“Okay, what?” Castiel questions. Dean takes a breath and lets it out very slowly. Very slowly. This is it.

 

“Cas, I need to tell you something,” Dean blurts out.

 

“Okay,” Castiel simply replies, though he says it a little slowly.

 

“Listen, I, uh. I’ve been thinking, for awhile actually, and there’s something that I need to tell you because I’ve been thinking about it for awhile.” 

 

Dean realizes that he’s repeating himself. Crap. This isn’t going well.

 

“Dean,” Castiel begins, his hand sliding under the covers and covering Dean’s. “You can tell me anything you know that right?”

 

Dean looks over at Cas and wishes he hadn’t. Cas’ eyes are so blue and honest and kind and Dean swears he could just stare at them for an eternity. 

 

“Yeah,” Dean croaks.

 

Then there’s another pause.

 

“Yeah,” Castiel repeats Dean. Dean takes another breath, then closes his eyes. He can’t look at Cas when he says it, even though he should. But, baby steps, right?

 

“I love you.”

 

Dean braces for impact. There’s no response for a second so he peeks one eye open. Cas is just staring at him. Cas blinks. And then he blinks again.

 

“I thought that was a given.”

 

It takes Dean’s brain a minute to catch up with what was just said by Cas. What Cas just said. Because… wait what?

 

“What?” Dean says meekly. Cas just shakes his head.

 

“I thought, I mean, I thought you knew that I knew that,” Castiel states. Dean’s head is spinning.

 

“You… knew. You knew that you knew that I knew that I love you?”

 

“I knew.”

 

“You knew.”

 

There’s a break.

 

“How?” Dean questions. The corner of Cas’ lips upturn.

 

“Because I love you too.”

 

Dean’s stomach does a funny thing and his eyelids flutter and he feels like he’s kind of falling off a cliff. Cas loves him. He loves him back. 

 

He feels like he’s in second grade again.

 

“What?” Dean croaks.

 

“I love you.”

 

“Since when?” Dean finally manages. Castiel smiles a little wider and the look of fondness in his eyes that has Dean’s stomach doing that thing again.

 

“Since I pieced your soul together. You can only imagine what it was like to hold a soul like that, like yours. I realized when I was rearranging it, when I was putting everything back where it belonged, that it truly was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen. And I had seen a lot. I have seen a lot. But then when I met you again, for real, in person, I knew. I just… knew.”

 

It’s Dean’s turn to blink. And blink. And then blink one more time.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” 

 

Castiel shrugs.

 

“I didn’t think you felt the same. And I knew you needed time,” Castiel explains. 

 

“But, but what about when we got together? Why didn’t you say anything?” Dean questions, almost indignant. Castiel turns away, avoiding eye contact, looking sheepish.

 

“Well, I had an idea of how you felt. I wasn’t completely sure, but I knew how much I loved you, and I had a deep feeling that you felt the same. I didn’t want to rush you though. Like I said, I knew you needed time,” Castiel tells Dean.

 

Dean feels like the world is falling apart and coming together at the same time. 

 

“Oh,” Dean says softly, nodding. Castiel looks back at him and smiles. Dean feels Cas squeeze his hand and Dean looks back at Cas. Cas has that damn fond look in his eyes again and Dean has to remind himself that he really isn’t in second grade.

 

“I love you Dean, I always have. I always will.”

 

Dean manages to not choke as he nods.

 

“Yeah. Yeah, I love you too, Cas.”

 

And then because he can.

 

“Always.”

**Author's Note:**

> So, did you guys like it? I know that you guys tend to pay more attention to my smutty one shots, but hopefully you guys will like this one too!!! Tell me what you thought, feedback and comments and kudos are all so wonderful and so appreciated!!! Thank you guys for reading, I hope that all of you are doing well <3


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